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When it all blooms...
The first few years of my business have been about saying YES to things that push me out of my comfort zone.
So much so that I've made a practice out of it.
Does this opportunity make me want to grab a barf-bag and make me feel like an imposter?
Then the answer is: Yes - okay, sign me up. 😝
This practice has allowed me to grow in ways I never expected-
I've stepped into a leadership as a Nurse Coach in NLCA, coached highly successful people, delivered presentations to professionals who "outrank" me, joined clubs and networked with badass women, and gained confidence speaking in public.
And now, after years of planting seeds and investing in massive amounts of fertilizer- my garden is starting to look, well... overgrown.
As a mildly successful backyard gardener - I can tell you that when you plant too much too close together, you run the risk of snuffing the whole damn thing out.
There is a finite number of resources. Each plant is competing for valuable nutrients, sunlight, oxygen, and space to spread its roots- to grow. 🌿
For anything to thrive, you've got to create room.
Yep- this means removing things you've planted and cared for with good intention.
This is where I find myself now in life and business and coaching... |
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What beautiful bloom do I need to let go of to allow something else to flourish?
What do I want to pour my precious energy, time, and resources into?
Where does space need to exist to promote more growth?
It's a messy reality. There is no clear answer, no life hack or crystal ball to the rescue.
I will share though, that this part of the journey is asking me to become empowered in a new way:
Learning the art of discernment and practicing the skill of saying "No". |
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In this season, saying "No" does not mean never - it means not right now. And with that comes full permission to pivot, reprioritize, and keep a loose grip to allow for organic growth. 🍄 |
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Flirting with capacity.
I'm a trial and error kind of gal.
It's not exactly made things easy for me. Growing up, I tried a lot of things and fell hard again and again.
Habits, jobs, relationships, life choices...
It must have been difficult to witness- seeing me repeatedly choose to learn lessons the hard way.
I remember telling my mentor last year:
"I want to know what it feels like to be at max capacity in my business."
Her eyes got big. "Ok! We can do that!" 😬 |
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This trait has made this part of the journey an adventure - I am constantly assessing where the line is... and seeing how close I can get to it.
What makes this especially challenging? I'm an introvert.
We live in a society that glorifies the traits of extroverts. The biggest, boldest, most popular characters win the prize. Social bandwidth = equal success (or so it appears).
This cultural lens has made understanding my own capacity complicated- especially as an entrepreneur.
Do I need to be more outgoing? Am I doing enough? What is enough?
This is something I see in my clients, too… the challenge of learning how to fully own our version of success and honor our energy on the path toward it.
I want to acknowledge how hard this is - the illusion of mainstream "success" is strong, even when we can see that chasing it is causing us to drift out of alignment. It's in our nature to compare ourselves with others and question our own path as being right or wrong.
In real time, I’m understanding more and more... this journey is all about learning and adapting. Trial and error through attunement.
My capacity is always in flux - and my job is to get to know it intimately so I can continue to serve with power and heart. And that's enough 🌈
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On the road again...
When I was a young adult, I often idolized my world-traveling friends and acquaintances.
When I lived in Asheville, my roommates would leave town for 6 or more months at a time, backpacking through Peru or do anthropologic research in rural Australia, or internships in Paris...
Even before social media was popular, it looked so cool... the stories, the adventure, the whole lifestyle.
I wished I could be like that - boring Abby likes to stay home. |
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I was disappointed that who I was didn't fit that mold.
As I've grown up, I have felt some resolve- allowing myself design a life that I deeply enjoy. Gardening, art, cooking, exercise, being at home close to my dogs and family.
And also, quite stealthy, a love of travel emerged in its own way - RV Camping.
In fact- this is my view right now as I write this, sitting at camp in the mountains of Virginia.
It has surprised me... how much I truly love it. The voices of doubt from others (and in my mind) are constantly challenging me to recommit to this belief -
Don't you feel like you need more stability?
Aren't you sick of lack of space and all the work involved?
You are going... where?... and you are planning to work full time?!
Nope. Nope. And yes- thank you for asking - I'm going to love it. |
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Over the last 6 years, camping has consistently felt like a remedy for my mental and physical health - a home-pod in nature.
Life takes a different form out here.
Simple, intentional, slowed down yet productive, and just the right amount of challenge to keep it fun (shitter's full!).
I'll be honest, I still don't crave wild adventure, international travel, or being "off the grid" - and right now I'm at peace with that.
I'd rather be cooking on a fire at camp after a day of riding bikes, walking dogs, and doing meaningful work. |
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If you want to follow my RV travels over the summer, be sure to connect with me on Instagram 👈 |
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Fish Thursday
Left turn! - Fish?! 😂
When life starts to feel full, I notice myself reaching for anchors.
Things that support that grounded feeling when everything else is in shift.
Weekly fresh catch family dinner on Thursdays is a favorite.
About 3 years ago, Andrew and I made a commitment to putting more local food on our plate - and this was one of the first moves we made.
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It started with the Locals Seafood fish subscription. On Thursdays, we would pick up whatever random fish was in season that week and have a cooking adventure at home.
This has since become a weekly trip to NC Farmer's Market and an open invitation to my adult step-son and any other family to join us for a meal.
It's the highlight of our week -
And needless to say, I've gotten really damn good at cooking fish.
(And my HDL is incredible 🙌 )
Fun fact - I was born in Anchorage AK and I've learned from the best 👉 my parents. We grew up eating smoked salmon and halibut cooked to perfection.
Another fun fact... I'm not so good at catching fish. Legend has it that a curse was placed on me after loosing the battle with a massive flounder about 10 years ago. |
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We returned to Alaska a few years back when the salmon were running and fished for hours in the Kenai river.
Standing next to me, grandmas and little boys were pulling giant salmon out of the water one after the other like we were at a carnival game.
There were so many salmon they were bumping me in the legs.
Did I hook one? Nope.
Did I help cook what someone else caught that day? Yep.
Want to know my go-to method?
You can find it here: Fresh Catch Fish
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Your Permission Slip
"You can't go outside to play until your chores are done!"
Does this sound familiar?
As a kid, learning responsibility and how to be a contributing member of a family was important. We learned the skills to take care of a home, our bodies, and what takes priority. These rules had a purpose and a place in childhood, in a lot of ways they allowed us to become independent.
Lately, what I'm noticing in my coaching world is that when we carry this into adulthood- this belief starts to work against us.
You can't rest or play until all your work is done.
For the high-achiever, this deeply held belief places you on an infinite hamster wheel.
Feeling like you have to earn your recovery through hard work.
Feeling like you only deserve reward when the work is done.
And if the work is never ending.... when is it enough?
These patterns lead to exhaustion and unfortunately they are reinforced as a fairly common cultural norm.
You "earn" your vacation. Self-care activities are an indulgence. "Work hard, Play hard". Dessert after dinner. After a hard workout, you earn a splurge meal.
And don't get me started how we think about retirement...
I had a client tell me recently that they can't physically relax or sit still until 100% of the laundry is done. |
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The reality is, living out this rule for your whole life can be downright draining and can snuff out your ability to feel alive in your life.
Allow me to share a gentle reminder:
Laundry does not have to be more important than your rest, your joy, or your creative spirit.
You deserve to enjoy your days, to use your precious time and energy on what fills your cup.
You have earned the right to play and live an inspired life just by being here.
👉 For the record, I needed to hear that too |
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To all you beautiful high-achievers out there...
If this hit home, consider these reflection prompts to explore deeper:
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Where do you see this belief showing up in your life?
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How could your current priorities shift a bit to make space for fun and rest?
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What could change if you didn't need to earn it?
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Worth Sharing
A few things I've been enjoying, learning from, or coming back to lately: |
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